Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
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