if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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