I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
