She's JV to your varsity
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
