I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
