Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
