Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
