Don't you send me to vm
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
