My nipple is on Facebook.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
