did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
