he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize