I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
