why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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