i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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