She's JV to your varsity
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
