Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
