sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
