i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
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