I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize
