Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
