it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Randomize
