Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
