Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
So apparently I’m into choking now
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