ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
