After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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