please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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