More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
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