I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
