i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I just found puke in my bra..
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
