it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
Randomize
