if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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