Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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