i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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