So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
