he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
