Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
