THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
