Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
My balls are so social today.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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