Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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