I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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