this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I showed him my bush... on skype.
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
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