I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
