I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
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