Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
are you so shy because you have an std?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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