Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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