Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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