He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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