how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
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