i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
