You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
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