it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
