i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
