I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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