I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
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